MysteriYES

A comedy show in which two friends discuss a weekly mystery.

Sam Borg

This may be a short one Zach. This isn’t a very complicated or detailed mystery so we’re really going to have to stretch this one out. Perhaps we should read some scary stories, or take a couple random online quizzes, or maybe I should just list a few ways to kill time before actually getting into it. Look at that I managed to add an extra ____ to the podcast! This will stick it to our podcast publishers who pay us by the minute. In fact I imagine a conversation between a podcast publisher and us would go a little something like this…..

 

Willy (publisher): You boys have something great. You’re gonna be huge! Stick with me kids and we’ll make it all the way to the top!

 

Zach: Well I’m glad to hear that famed podcast producer and multi-media mogul Jonathan Shapiro.

 

Willy: There’s just one thing we need to change…

 

Zach: *gulp* uh oh…

 

Willy: I need you boys to kill of that officer pomples character.

 

Zach: No way!

 

Willy (as Willy): Yeah! He’s the greatest friend I’ve ever had!

 

Zach: Yeah! He once gave me his only working kidney, and I didn’t even need it! He just handed it to me in a paper bag!

 

Willy (producer): Look kids, he just doesn’t have enough sex appeal. He’s soft. A good boy who never breaks the rules.

 

Officer Pomples enters the room like a cool guy. He pulls out a personal vaporizer and take a cheeky rip releasing tendrils of smoke from his succulent lips.

 

Officer Pomples: You boys rang?

 

Zach & Willy: It’s officer pomples!

 

Audience applause

 

Officer Pomples: Look here boys, you don’t need to be represented by this bozo. He won’t appreciate you like I do. Here *officer pomples hands Zach and Willy a small piece of paper* the proof is in the pudding.

 

Zach: Wow! It’s a recipe for Officer Pomple’s famous chili pudding and the first ingredient says, “2 cups of love for Willy and Zach”!

 

Willy: You do love us after all!

 

Officer Pomples: You got it boys. Now I gotta get out of here. There’s some wicked sick grinding I need to do on my dope BMX bike. Catch you on the flippity flip.

 

Officer Pomples floats out of the room; arms reaching toward the heavens. For a moment you hear a chorus of angels singing before you realize it is just Officer Pomples slowly saying the word “radical” as he fades into the distance.

 

Zach & Willy: Thanks Officer Pomples!

 

Willy and Zach look back to Jonathon Shapiro. His head has exploded. Willy and Zach look at each other as a look of horror is shared between them. Police sirens can be heard in the background.

 

FIN

 

Now let’s get to the mystery.

 

This week we’re going back to one of our mainstays here on MysteriYes, Australia! Zach what’s your favorite city in Australia! Haha good one Zach, mine is Melbourne too. For this Mystery we’re going all the way back to May of 1960 where we’ll find a man named Sam Borg in Melbourne, Australia. Sam runs a Maltese cafe in Northern Melbourne which has a certain reputation for illegal gambling. Toward the end of the month in 1960 Sam stops showing up for work. In fact nobody has seen him for several days. Because he disappeared so suddenly one of his friends decides to stop by his place to check on him but when he got there he discovered Sam’s house was bolted shut. The friend called the police and they had to use a ladder to climb in through a window. When they entered the house they discovered Borg’s body in his guest room. He was wearing his pajamas and was wrapped in sheets. There were rags covering his head and one of his belts had been used to keep the sheets wrapped around him. He had sustained quite a bit of damage to his head and had been dead for at least a few days. After further investigation, it was determined that someone had used a chair leg to beat him to death. The most bizarre thing about the murder is that the guest room he was found in had been board up…. From the inside. Who killed Sam had climbed through a skylight, killed him, and left through the same window. A loaded gun and quite a bit of cash was found in Sam’s bedroom and police believe the killer made off with ~$1,000. Police interviewed 40+ people but no arrests were ever made.

 

Well that was short. Hmmmm. I guess we have time for one more.

 

Ad break

 

We’re going further back in time and practically all the way around the world for one of the most unsettling cases we’ve ever done here on MysteriYES. We’re going back to May 4th 1932 to Stockholm Sweden. HEY ZACH MAKE UP SOME STUFF TO SAY ABOUT SWEDEN BUT DON’T MAKE IT TOO OFFENSIVE!

 

Haha good one Zach. On May 4th 1932 the body of Lilly Lindestrom, a 32 year old prostitute was found in her apartment in the Atlas area of Stockholm. On that day police broke into her apartment and discovered that she had been dead for 2-3 days before they got there. She was completely naked, lying facedown on her bed. She was killed by blunt force trauma to her head. Some form of sexual activity had taken place because (ask Zach if I should say this) investigator found a condom that had been left in her anus. As police investigated the scene they discovered a bloody gravy ladle. Now Zach you’re probably thinking to yourself, “gee that’s a weird weapon to blugeon someone to death with”. Well you’re right, but the ladle wasn’t used to kill Lilly. Instead the killer had used it to drain and then drink nearly all of the blood in her body. Unfortunately this is where the story ends because after a lengthy investigation every lead the police had went cold and the murder remains unsolved.